Believe...Believe what?!

It has been an unbelievable week for me. Not. It's been stupendously shitty week for me. There was nothing for me to do and nothing to keep myself happy. As you would have known by now, i went for a surgery last week and am still recovering from it. My 10 days mc is almost used up. And now i feel like not turning up for work next week. Well, this past 10 days has been truly amazing. Not the amazing where you would be all happy and excited and opening a bottle of champagne. Its not that. The amazing that i'm trying to say is - it is amazing how your brain can just die from the starvation of entertainment, fun and party. Well, you can say that i'm demoralised, depressed and 'dead'. I can go mad i tell you. Been rotting at home and will continue to rot if i don't go out soon. You know what, i feel like i'm going crazy. There are times where i would just be oblivious to everything around me. Not giving a fuck. There are times that i would just say, 'What the fuck am i doing'? I need to get out of this shit-hole i'm in right now and do something. Do something that can make me happy for god sake. I probably can understand now why some people have mental disorder. Don't think pyschological problems are due to genetic hereditary. Things haven't been going according to plan. Reputation to be fix at work and making my brain alive again. Two things on my agenda for next week. Caught X-men 2 on Star Movies just now and it just psyched me up. It woke me up. It made me believe again. It just funny how one thing can make change your life. i'm yet to accounter such things but what happened is only just the beginning. What happened to me, all this pain and suffering are just another phase. But these phase have been going on for too long for my liking. You know what, i could give a fuck about it. There is only one thing that is going to come out from all these, is that i'm going to be much stronger and nothing will ever stop me. For those reading this and trying to make sense of it all, don't bother if you don't understand. If you do understand, then good for you. I'm going through a transitional period and am still trying to make sense of it all myself. [Don't be afraid to always speak your mind because if others don't give a fuck about you, why should you give a fuck about them? The worst thing that can happen though is regret]