Uncertainty

Finally, will be returning to camp tomorrow after a week off from army life. A great feeling right but not really for me. Been feeling down a week ago but then feeling great only to be let down but a bad news(will come to that later) After seeing a doctor at NUH about the boil under my armpit(it hurts by the way), i was told to come down for a surgery on this coming thursday. In the meantime, i will have to swallow around 20 pills of anti-biotics and painkillers. It sucks. The feeling of eating pills and drinking lots of water just sucks. Anyways, i hope the surgery goes well and hope its not a painful as the on my back. Yeap, thats right. I undergo a similar operation to remove a boil at my back. Th only difference was that the boil bursts before i went for the operation. The doctor had to clean in up and make a hole so that they could really clean it. So basically i had a hole on my back. sigh...... This past week wasn't really a holiday but more of a reflection of how things have been going for me in the army. And there's really not much positives that i could conjure up. Coming to the bad news that i was going to reveal: I got a call from my camp that i will have to return to tekong for a bmt recourse. Well, its combat bmt, the three months(sort of) stay(well, book out on saturdays) :( Eversince i got out of course from the previous bmt, i was waiting to be downgraded and now here i am, waiting to return to tekong for another miserable life. But uh-uh, i ain't going back there as a recruit. I will be downgraded before returning for a modified recourse which is basically chalet, from what i come to know about. I can't go back there and go through that again. I don't want to. Its just not what i want. Everything was going so well for me. But one piece of news just encapsulated the previous 8 months in the army. There is this air of uncertainty, un-settledness, fear in me. Initial difficulties overcomed, the promise of something good to happen but ultimately heartache and disappointment with the fates always seeming to conspire against me. [Man is the main source of his own misery]